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Film Clichés
a
· b · c1
c2 cars · d
· e · f ·
h · i · k
· l · m ·
n · p1 p2
· r · s1
s2 · t ·
v · w war
weapons
TEENAGERS
• The walls of a teenager's bedroom or a twentyish adult's
apartment are always highly decorated, beyond anything sane, with every
available inch of space covered with something cool.
• A movie teenager will always have a drainpipe situated next to his
or her window. This drainpipe will be specially reinforced to hold their
weight on escape.
TIME
• Movie timing is always exact. If a phone trace will
take two minutes, for example, you can be sure that that means 120 seconds,
not a fraction more or less. Same for bombs, amount of time to get to
a destination, etc.
• Corollary to the above: all characters in a movie have their watches
perfectly synchronized.
TRAFFIC
• When a main character has to cross the street (in one
of the slower parts of the movie), he/she can always cross the street
immediately. Of course, he/she jogs across in order to miss the one
car that drives by after they cross.
• If there is traffic, then that means that the movie is at a more intense
part (like a chase scene) in which case there are a lot of cars that
crash into each other. None of the important characters get hurt, the
accident is never heard on the news, and nobody sues anybody important.
Very few people even get out of their cars, and yet, no airbags are
to be seen.
TRAVEL
• Transportation always arrives and leaves on time.
• Characters arrive at the airport and get right on the plane. They
must have the best timing of any people on Earth - I always have wait
around for a while before boarding. (Not to mention getting a boarding
pass and the "arrive 30 minutes before departure or you lose your seat"
clause of most airlines. Good thing movie airlines never overbook!)
• Movie characters' suitcases are always weightless when they have to
carry them.
• In emergencies, anyone can pick up flying a helicopter.
• Movie characters never suffer from motion sickness.
TREES
• Whichever tree branch the hero has perched on, the villain
will invariably pause under.
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